Love is…Grace


The other day I drove by another homeless man standing near the highway. I barely paused to see if I had one of those prepared bags I made with the family to disperse things they “need” (like snacks and soap), instead of things they “want” (money for all sorts of trouble they’d get into). When I didn’t have one, I kept on driving.

Sometimes when I’m with friends in public and we’re talking about the Lord, I lower my voice so people around don’t hear me. I tell myself I’m being polite. I’m actually hiding my faith.

When I’m approached by emotionally needy people, I “read” them, and the room, before responding. If I’m inclined to help or tell them about the Lord, I often squelch it if those around me might disapprove or judge me for it.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought that a certain family I run into needs to shower more. I wonder if they have money trouble, or if it’s a matter of choice. Once I prayed for them…out of guilt because I heard myself judging them audibly and was ashamed.

I type this with my heart pounding, but not from embarrassment of my confession, as you might expect. I’m past embarrassment, and I am aware that most people do a lot of this stuff, whether or not they admit it. No, my heart is racing from the disappointment of realizing that I am such a hypocrite.

Do you know, that one time my professional role model claimed that I am the “nicest person” he’d ever met? At the time I thought I didn’t tell people about it because I was “so humble”. But in reality, saying it out loud would have blasted my ear drums with an audible lie. I might be nice compared to some of the lost in this world, but I’m truly nothing compared to the One I should be compared to. The righteous One. The holy One. The One who would never have supported my letting a person think that about me. You know who I’m talking about, right? The One who did not come into the world to judge it but to SAVE it?!?! (John 3:17).

Sweet Jesus, let us see it! Let us understand our hypocrisy! Let us know your glory so we recognize our sin!

It’s not just me. I’m not the only one who drove by that homeless man. I’m not the only believer who lives in this world and, let’s face it, lives of this world, while trying to bring Jesus along with us. Instead of setting the example of being drastically different, the way He was, instead of daring to stick out like a sore thumb with our radical love, we redefine His call, our faith, our God, to fit into this world. Our churches are run by business models instead of the Holy Spirit. Decisions are made by pursuing common sense instead of faithful prayer. “Love your neighbor as yourself” turns into “Love yourself as your neighbor”, or “Love yourself, your family, your close friends, and your acquaintances, in that order’.

I can’t stand being like this anymore. I can’t stand myself. I can’t fathom the idea of watching a hidden video of myself from today and one from 15 years ago and seeing that the only thing that has changed is my appearance. I don’t want to fit in, I don’t want to keep up with traffic, or follow a flock of dingy sheep who are meandering around without their shepherd. Do you? Really, is this who you want to be?

No matter how many bad breaks I think I’ve had (out of my own control), I still think my own “successes” are because of my own awesomeness. I forget quickly how much grace upon grace has been lavished upon me, to keep me from being one of those with awful circumstances. If I hadn’t been born into a family with good education and means, I could have been unqualified for a good job and college, then a few more tragedies could have landed me on the streets. Or I could have been born in a country where the gospel isn’t shared, where human trafficking is a way of life. Just a degree or two of separation keeps us all from many different courses of life, and many of us aren’t as fortunate as others. I can’t worship the God who saves at the same time I look down upon those who He hasn’t saved yet. Or looking down on those who are already Christian brothers or sisters but whose circumstances aren’t as blessed as I am. Or–I seriously can’t believe that any human being has done this, including myself–looking down upon others who aren’t as “cool” as we might desire. Basically being a pagan bully who uses more self-control and wears a holy disguise. All these are like serving two gods. Or worse.

The perfect Savior, who IS LOVE, came to earth to make God known to us, and will continue to do that so the love God has for Jesus will be in us (John 17:26). If His perfect love is in us, we must show the same thing, even if it is the undeserved grace that He gives us, to the other people on earth who He loves so deeply. I pray for that love to reign in you today, and in this world until the new heaven and earth are created!




Redemptive Love

shawshank2.jpgIf you’re a judgmental cynic like myself, you might notice that I have included a cheesy picture to go along with the point that Love is Redemption. I had to. Because it is my picture. Because I am redeemed.

The picture is from a movie that I may never have seen. The image highlights my present state. What I see is beauty. I see:

1) Rain. I have spent my whole life hiding from the rain, to protect myself from feeling the effects of it throughout my soul. I’ve been so afraid to feel pain that I hide parts of myself to avoid the risk.

2) Dark. This guy is standing in the dark, but facing the light. The light illuminates his mannerisms, the way he releases his agony with all of himself. He passes the pain back to the Mighty One who can handle it. Who already knows all the sorrow.

3) Release. This guy is standing firm in the rain, not cowering to it. Not clinging to, or grasping at it. Just standing there, open-handed.

The Lord has shown me so much in the past week that I’m dizzy, giddy, exhausted, and renewed, all at once. He showed me (some of) my spiritual blindspots. Becoming aware of my own sin broke my spirit, but He quickly restored it, stronger than ever in Him. Not with platitudes or flattery, but with pure love. That left me dizzy, but He steadied me with His strong arms. And…He wasn’t done with me! That was just the beginning. This weekend I went to a training to be a Redemption Group trainer. I’ve mentioned them a bit on here, but basically they are spirit-led God-seeking groups in which we identify our idols, fears, issues, and their roots. These are all things we think we want to know when we’re struggling, but…it’s hard and painful. What kind of weirdo wants to know everything bad about herself?


I want it.

I found out I’m a judgmental, fake, lost, faithless monster.

And He loves me anyway.

I realized I’ve been hiding my fears behind band-aids–worldly comforts, analysis, and excuses.

Which He stripped off me, all at once.

I learned that every single time I notice a sin in someone, it’s because that’s a common theme in my own life.

And He forgave every one of those.

He’ll forgive them again tomorrow, when I’m likely to run back to my old ways.

He’ll be there, hating my sin, but loving His daughter, gently drawing me back to the truth.

I am free from the chains I stubbornly connect, day after day, to my own wrists. Chains of social anxieties and expectations. Pressures of pleasing people who will never approve of me anyway. I am free of the burdens I wrapped around myself to avoid pains of this world, and the previously unsettling stillness now resonates with the sweetest stillness. I am rejected by man, but beloved by God. I am His child, and will not try to be anyone else’s.

This song is my anthem. If it would fit on a banner, I would wave it all day. Please listen until you get to the best part: “You split the sea so I could walk right through it. You drowned my fears in perfect love…”

Those words express my feelings, but His direct words always get to the point. The most important summary is that MY NAME, is written in HIS book. I didn’t earn it, but I appreciate it, and I will live like the child He made me to be.

Revelation 3:5 “He who overcomes will thus be clothed in white garments; and I will not erase his name from the book of life, and I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.”



Love is…Suffering


Julie Marchio and me last year at a cancer fundraiser, a few months after her diagnosis. She passed away this month.

This is one of those seasons with lots of people suffering. Specifically with cancer, but that’s likely because I’m a magnet for people with it. The picture here is of my beautiful friend, Julie Marchio, who passed away this month. I met her through Dr. Crooms, who put us in contact so I could be an encouragement to her. Julie believed she could be healed and sought it. By the time I met her, she had renewed her faith in Jesus, and saw Him as the loving savior that He is. She was always positive, always faithful, always full of love. Her liver failed when I had the flu, and I didn’t see her at the end. I know she still had faith but I don’t know if she was brokenhearted about not having been healed. I prayed that she had a deep peace about it and expect that she did. I don’t know how thrilled she was with having to suffer or having to leave her boys before she felt ready. I don’t know why God answered our prayers for my healing differently than He answered hers. But I have more peace about it all than I used to. I am more confident in the sovereignty of God, and of the joy of heaven than before.

Part of my new confidence is because, we studied Revelation this year at Bible Study Fellowship. It was the best Bible study of my life. Completely amazing. Every week brought something new, my perspective changed. My love for the Lord swelled, appreciation for His people skyrocketed, understanding of His glory grew…my interpretation of our suffering teetered, but my faith still soared.

People think of Revelation as prophecies about the future, but there’s much more to it. My words couldn’t do it justice, but in fact those words the Lord inspired reflect just that– His mercy and justice . Like, “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for His judgements are true and just; For He has judged the great prostitute who corrupted the earth with her immorality, and has avenged on her the blood of His servants” from Revelation 19:1-2.

Sidebar: There’s a lot to study there about His fairness, which I think is debated by a LOT of people. So I hear…The truth is that people haven’t debated truth or basic biblical concepts around me much in years. Maybe I just hang out with too many Christians. So, if you want to hear about any more of that type of thing, I might be able to expand on here or via email, so contact me if so. Otherwise, just agree with everything I say. That’s what I do…

Besides Julie’s death, a different friend’s dad passed away from cancer this month, a friend had a cancer recurrence and three other girls I know were recently diagnosed. One friend’s chemo regimen identified today as The Day her hair is supposed to fall out. I don’t think constantly about my own journey anymore, but knowing what This Day might bring for my friend takes my breath away. My head pounds thinking back to that time. The worst manifestation of the journey. The most humiliating period of life.

My mind races between the memories: At first I thought maybe God would spare my hair so I didn’t face it and wouldn’t shave it. Then I arrogantly vowed to never wear a wig (which I but regretted many times, although I did stick with). Next, it started falling out over a period of weeks, each day brought terror and more heartache…a trip to the mall to try on hats, which was ruined because I shed what looked like hair extensions in each one. Then going away for the weekend without a brush, because I thought it was better to keep the remaining hairs matted to my scalp than to see them fall out. Making faces at Naomi as she slowly smiled and pulled that chunk of hair by my ear out… one particularly awful day I thanked God was finally ending, then as I slammed the dishwasher door shut I noticed what looked like an animal tail at the bottom. I almost screamed before I recognized my highlights throughout it. And finally, that night I spent crying for Naomi as the hairs and tears hit my shoulders. That is the blog post more people mention to me than any other. It’s the experience I share in front of an audience that I know will bring mothers to tears. And, it is The Moment of my life that I first knew the full extent of God’s love for me. His fatherly, perfect, passionate, devout, unceasing love.

Without that moment, I might not know how deeply Jesus loves me.

Without that suffering, I might not know how to love well and pray for others who struggle.

Without that cancer diagnosis, I might not know how much I want others to avoid the constant torture of hell.

I am grateful for that moment. I am grateful for my hair loss. Glad to know cancer and suffering, ecstatic to know Love. For me, suffering is love and love is suffering.

Please don’t think I’m downplaying suffering. I’m the one who still cries about hair loss, so it’s not that I’ve gone numb to it or anything. But I know that we will be better for it, and it will be over soon. Jesus said, “Behold, I am coming soon, bringing my recompense with me, to repay everyone for what he has done. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” (Rev 22:12-13).

Not to get all preachy, but if you read that verse and by some chance you aren’t sure what you’ve done is good enough, you don’t need to wonder anymore. It isn’t. Being a good person isn’t enough. Doing good deeds isn’t enough. We all sin and the wages of that sin is death. The only way you can “earn” your spot in heaven is to get your garments washed clean by the perfect blood of Jesus. He’s the only one who can atone for all of your past sins and the ones you’ll do next. No apologies, day of atonement or animal sacrifices can make you perfect. Sheesh, I haven’t even been perfect in the half hour it’s taken me to write this post. But I’m healed. We are healed by the wounds of the only begotten Son, and He freely took your sins on the cross. “The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.” (Rev 22:17) That’s it. If you understand this paragraph, you are a hearer. If you’re searching for something and water doesn’t satisfy, you’re thirsty. In both cases, Go. Go to the One who can fulfill you and drink from the living water. Literally just say the words. You won’t regret it.


Love is…Honest

I rolled into the doctor’s office today upon Yaacov’s request–and because I’m desperately ill. I might have the flu (I’m seriously so peace-filled though that I don’t even care), so it ended up that Dr. Perry would have to recycle the magazines I irresponsibly covered in germs. Oops. It was perfect though, because the alternative was that I could keep them and I had just finished wishing that I could take a certain issue of Family Circle home. Now, you all probably know that this blogging thing is just a hobby and no one pays me or would care what my opinions are on controversial matters, right? That means I get to share whatever’s on my heart.

Well, I know in the Christian world everyone is blogging about Target, but there is another issue I’m more concerned about. It’s not that Target isn’t a big deal, I just think it’s been covered. A lot. But I’m really surprised by this article that was actually published in the March 2016 issue on pages 101-108 of Family Circle. It’s called, “I Kept My Cancer a Secret”and goes on about three women who to great lengths to ensure others didn’t know they had cancer. It’s tragic in many ways.

1. Shame

If you look deeply into the printed words, you can see how the women were really just afraid to expose their “weakness” of having cancer. They wanted to seem strong, which isn’t the same as actually being strong.  Whether we are believers or not, we can all relate to not naturally embracing our weaknesses, right? But it’s more evidence that our society and the Word of God share very different goals. The Apostle Paul, for example, spent much of his letters illustrating the truth that the power of the Lord is seen most clearly when we settle into our weaknesses. The Redemption Groups that I’ve mentioned on here before teach the reminder that we can’t fill our vision with Him when our sight is obscured by ourselves. I will tell you any day of the week that my diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to me, and if He hadn’t helped me lean into Him, to make me live out my weakness, I never could have made it through, or had the opportunity to receive the massive influx of love from His children.

One of the survivors in the article reported that she didn’t want people to know about the cancer because they would think she brought it on herself. I remember that my healthy vegan friend, Jessica, who died of lung cancer, feared the same thing. It’s a legitimate concern this day and age, but maybe if more people discuss it our society will eventually learn the truth. Hide it under a lampstand? NO! Maybe as a society, especially those of us who know real love, we can stop judging others by our assumptions or their past behavior and get into the moment. Let’s just love people, people.

2) Love

The next point is the theme I can’t get past, is how we are loving each other.The truth is, if we don’t give our loved ones the opportunity to support us during cancer, we are not loving them. It’s not loving to hide the truth, or to steal their opportunity to grow, learn and be blessed by the trials. It’s not love to try to rescue them from something the Lord determined was important for them to walk through. And it’s not loving to assume they wouldn’t want to know what you’re going through.

Loving someone is not the same as flattery or indulgence, either. It seems like the popular belief is that giving people what they want is love. (Could that be a contributing factor in people not believing God is loving? Because He doesn’t always give us what we want?) We rarely like the consequences that result from giving people what they want too much, yet in the moment we often do it. Yaacov and I have to remind each other that there’s a difference between blessing and spoiling our own kids, but somehow when we see kids who have trained their parents to indulge all their whims, the shock leaves us speechless. When we end up sheltering people from many life lessons, like with the need to obey, or to work hard, we aren’t being super-parents the way we sometimes convince ourselves. We might have good intentions, but that’s not always the same as loving well.

Sometimes when we make decisions like keeping a major diagnosis and treatment a secret, we can’t get past the obvious surface issues that make so much sense. But that’s why we need the Word, the Holy Spirit, and wise counsel to help us make the decisions. If we usurp that process, we end up tricked by the enemy into doing the most unloving thing imaginable in the misguided attempt to love deeply!

3) Redemption

So, we all make mistakes. We “love” selfishly instead of spiritually. We fail the same test whose content we just reviewed yesterday. We do the thing we just judged someone else for doing. I’m typing this because I don’t have it figured out yet–I’d estimate that over the past year I’ve grown closer to the Lord than ever, but still I sin as much as ever. Of course, I often think I’m so changed that my purity must emanate from my pores. Then I get knocked back on the floor and realize my gross (size XL!), filthy clothes have been mended and bleached clean, but I still rolled around in the mud again all day. If you’re a devoted believer, you’re probably the same way. Paul says, “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” (Romans 7:18-19). That sounds oddly similar to what I moan heavenward each morning…The good news is, we are redeemed! We are awful, but He is awesome! We are sinful but He is sufficient! We forsake Him, but He forgives us!

Intertwined through the secular magazine story I noticed a victory: Despite the women’s initial desperate attempts to hide their cancer, they eventually began to share about it, and are now devoted to publicly discussing it. That is evidence of His Sovereignty. I have no idea whether or not they ever have or ever will follow Him, but He knows all that. In this case, what we do know is that they eventually humbled themselves and discovered the richness of sharing the truth. That wasn’t “by mistake”, it was because His purposes never fail. It was all part of the plan. So, they were redeemed, in spite of themselves.

No matter how many times you rolled around in the dirt today, you, too, can be redeemed. Permanently. While you were still a sinner, Christ died for you (Romans 5:8). You didn’t earn it, and you never can. But you can spend eternity worshiping the only one who can make you truly clean. If you don’t believe that, go back to the Holy Spirit, Word of God, and truly wise counsel you just read about until you do believe it (or message me and I’ll find you some!).



Love is…Submission

Love is submission. What? For non-believers the connotation of submission is usually met with scoffing or bad memories, because no one with value would fully submit to another. For believers, it’s a familiar command to submit to God, but is not always done easily or from the heart.

I have been SO blessed by God’s presence in the past few months. Times like these seem to come and go, but I think that’s primarily because I lose focus and don’t notice Him as much. This time around He caught me before I turned too far. I was still getting up early to spend time with Him before the day became loud and distracting, but because I had my last reconstructive surgery (woohoo!), I was tired and began doing it out of obligation instead of a heartfelt search. One of the things I stopped doing was studying the notes I took from the Redemption Group Training I mentioned in a previous post. But last night I went to a follow-up about it and it reignited my passion for seeking Him. By the time I got home, He broke through to me, and during this morning’s quiet time He completed a huge breakthrough. Right now I feel like it is THE breakthrough of my life, but it could just be from recent times:


Okay, so in the group training, we practice listening to the Holy Spirit while we and others share. Everyone is praying and listening at the same time. It gives new meaning to the idea of “praying constantly” (1 Thessalonians 5:17), because you’re multi-tasking so don’t even take a break when you’re sharing the most intimate, or the most mundane, parts of your life. The result is that everyone there is in gathered in His name, and He is there, the One in charge (Matthew 18:20).

You cannot help but be changed, be better, know better, love better, after experiencing Him in this powerful way. And over time, our relationships and all interactions will improve because of it. He will be truly in charge of our lives, and we will truly believe that is the best place for Him to be.

So, practicing deferring constantly to Him like that is one great way to submit, but that’s just an example of the good that comes from it. If life was guaranteed to always go the way we want it, we would submit all the time. The problem is that we know better. We have learned that people on earth are sinful, so submitting is unsafe. And we’ve seen enough heartache to know what we want and what God wants aren’t necessarily the same things. We want to retain control in case things start heading in an unpleasant direction. And I have been believing a lie that He was trying to strongarm me into submitting to Him, instead of seeing it as a natural result of my love for Him. Even when I realized I needed to decrease so I can see His enormity, I saw it as a love issue but not a problem with submission. The signs have all been there–Abigail has been having emotional meltdowns relating to wanting to be her own boss, I’ve been trying to lead a young rebel back to her rightful seat at the foot of the cross, and Yaacov and I finally worked through some issues that surround my rejection of his attempts to lead me. These are all examples of our human resistance to submit, but I didn’t notice the theme until now. And I definitely didn’t catch the point that submitting grudgingly is enormously prideful–it’s not submission at all, it’s actually calculated manipulation. Heartfelt submission is the ultimate acceptance and appreciation that I can do nothing apart from my God. That I am entirely undone by His love and protection for me, and that the only way to be a completely fulfilled person living in this world is to completely submitted to the One who lived on earth but dwells in heaven.

John the Baptist was a great man, and he said he was unfit to untie the sandals of Jesus (John 1:27). That means the filthy, rebellious sinner I am does not deserve to dwell in His presence, or to even serve Him. But He invited me here and I know no better place to be. Submitting to Him is the ultimate privilege, and I praise Him for letting me do it, rather than resent Him for trying to make me.

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it. But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me. So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own counsels. Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways! I would soon subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes; But He would feed you with the finest of the wheat, and with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.” Ps 81:11-14, 16)

Love is…Mundane

I can not tell you enough good things about a book called Redemption, by Mark Wilkerson. God used it some other perfectly timed circumstances to reignite my flame for Him and for ministering to the broken, messy people in our eternal family. I took a bunch of life-altering notes from a training weekend we went to, and am using the bullet points as a follow-up study. Not to overstate here, but Every.Single.Person in the world could receive some great things from this book.

Did I mention I’ve never met this Wilkerson before? I don’t get any benefit from advertising his book other than to enjoy the fruit of a redeemed, stronger, more complete kingdom-centered family.

So, It’s a book studied in these awesome Redemption Groups that I’m praying and hoping to be a part of at our church. One of the first points made at a little training we went to about it is, “The gospel can invade beauty into any situation–deep sorrow or those that seem mundane on the surface”. What do you think as you read that point?

At first glance I would normally say, “duh”. But when my heart is ripe to receive the truth and to delve into the depths of my soul, I become aware that I don’t live like that’s true. And if I don’t live like that, there’s a splinter blocking the path from my brain and my true faith.

So, first I needed to ensure that the statement actually lines up with the Bible…I know that Jesus is the Word and His story is the Good News, and that He literally saved me from the deep sorrow of dying while my girls were still so young. And in Matthew 9:23-25, a ruler was quite sorrowful because his daughter had just died but Jesus brought her back to life. Done. The gospel can invade beauty into deep sorrow.

He also invaded beauty into my mundane life. Remember I posted how on the last day of chemo I went to a drug store and God had three strangers stop me to tell me I was beautiful? He invaded a mundane moment with His perfect love, before I even knew I needed it or had asked. He did throughout His earthly ministry, too. Almost every day was mundane until He came along as the rescuer. Matthew went to work and was hanging out as his tax collector’s booth when Jesus cruised by and grabbed him (Mth 9:9). He turned a normal work day, where he was looked down upon and dreaded by the people, into a new calling, lifestyle and job. Oh, and He brought eternal life. God it. So, the gospel can invade beauty into the mundane.

So, why is this significant? Because some of us live like He is the God of the mundane, but we are the gods of the significant. Or vise versa. I often fall immediately into Him with the significant stuff, realizing I can’t take care of business on my own. But with daily, mundane life, I try to be my own god. I make a list of what I think should be done, and I try to achieve it. I blame myself for failures and beg Him to help me do better. But I don’t look for or expect His beauty throughout the day. I don’t see the importance of homeschooling Abigail for His daily glory. For cleaning the house as a reflection of His provision. I dare not think He cares if I fold the laundry, or believe anything more lovely than the act of crossing it off the list could come from it. So, I de-emphasize these things and think they get in the way of the ministry opportunities that arise. I rush through them to get to the “more important” parts of the day.


The mundane hours, days, weeks, even years, add up to most of our lives. I have been jumping at exciting opportunities but wasting the longer lasting ones. We aren’t alone in this life, and we’re missing so much beauty when we act like we are. He is the all-powerful, all-knowing Savior of the world, and His love will transcend all circumstances, not just the ones we think we can do on our own.



Love is…Suffering

I haven’t blogged much because I’m trying to write a book and spend my limited writing time working on that instead. I was just editing the skimpy bits I do have and ran across this paragraph. It might seem random, but I really, really feel compelled to post it on here. So, this is me posting in faith that it will encourage someone(s). Is it you?

Dr. Rassam assumes we know that stage 4 breast cancer is a death sentence so doesn’t announce it initially or soften the blow. For Yaacov’s sake I have to ask. He confirms that it’s not curable, treatment is just to make me as comfortable as I can be, for as long as possible. Then he tells me 3 potential ways I might die. One involves hospice, which I’ve never heard much about. I could go there to be a burden to someone else while I die. They could prop me up and put makeup on me for the kids to visit after church on Sundays. Then one day, instead of visiting me at hospice, they’ll re-route the car and head to the gravesite. I imagine that one day, after I’ve grown accustomed to functioning with a broken heart, this will sound pleasant to me. It will be a relief to have the freedom to writhe in pain and drool on myself without having to protect the girls from witnessing it. Because they’ll be at home starting life without a burdensome half-dead shell of a being. They’ll have more days spent without me than with me, but the days we have together before hospice will be the good ones. Today I’m still trying to steady myself from feeling perfectly healthy when I learn the countdown to my last day has begun. Today, hospice sounds worse than torture and I tune out from listening to the other ways I might die. My mind wanders to Hezekiah, who prayed that God would extend His life, and God answered that request. I’m not sure if this is oversimplifying things, but it seems like He loves my girls enough to give them a mom for a few extra years. Could faith be that easy? Maybe. I think it’s time to start praying for that instead of reading reviews of local hospices.