Later

Had a great time at fellowship group today. They prayed for us and I felt like everyone truly understood what was going on. I mean, in the sense that they can empathize. I also learned there is a man there who was told for 2.5 years that he was going to die (didn’t ask of what, I assume cancer). He couldn’t find a doctor who would tell him he’d live. And what do you know, years later he’s alive. He said he totally relates to everything I told the group tonight.

I’m a little worn out by everything, and in particular by a few people who are trying too hard to be helpful. I got home from a nice time with the group and had these messages that stressed me out. I really appreciate the effort, but sometimes it seems like people want to help in the way they’d want to be helped, instead of in the way I’d want to be helped. And it’s hard to say no to these people. I guess everyone copes in different ways, and most of us really want to feel helpful. But part of me feels like it’s a little selfish of them to be so pushy.

Why should I have to do things to appease them when I disagree with what they’re saying and I’m the one with cancer? But then I release the though and the Holy Spirit fills me with love for them. Even though I’m the one with the diagnosis, all these people are still affected by it. So they’re doing what they can think of to help, and I’m complaining about it. In a few months when the newness has worn off I’ll be sitting here alone and wishing I had people who cared enough to push things on me. Plus, God says to love one another because God loves us, not because they automatically know how to cope when their loved one is diagnosed with cancer.

1 John 4:7  Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

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