I’m learning so much about what to do if someone else I know ever goes through something like this. The biggest is that no matter how close I am or am not to the person, it’s nice to reach out in some way. I’m trying so hard to stay positive, but am really bothered that I’m positive some old friends & acquaintances know what’s up and don’t care enough to even drop a line. It’s not like those people are important to me now, but it’s painful to know that they’d hear someone is dying and not care at all.
Same goes for the people pushing their ideas/beliefs on me. I get that they believe I should do what they would do. That doesn’t make it right for me though. And maybe I’m being sensitive, but right now it seems that if I don’t do it they’ll judge me, and if I die they’ll think it’s because I didn’t follow their advice. I’m praying about everything now and following God’s advice, not man’s. But I sure wish I didn’t have to juggle other people’s judgments and beliefs along with it.
Anyway, none of this matters. I need to focus on what’s important. Worshiping God and spending time with my loved ones. Getting the house cleaned is up there too. But regardless, Paul said in Galatians that he’s not trying to win the approval of men. One of my favorite verses has always been that, “if I were still trying to please men I would not be a servant of Christ” (Gal 1:10). I will remember that the next time I lose focus and think this junk is important.
Now, I have found no verses about the filthy kitchen so better attend to that.

9 thoughts on “Learning

  1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, fears, and praise. You are my newest hero as you deal with the reality of cancer and the struggle that goes with it. You and your family are in our hearts and prayers. May God be glorified by your faithfulness.


  2. Hi Erin,
    Your post reminded me of what I have been studying this week for my Sunday School lesson (2 Chronicles 20.) – when you said you need to focus on what's important – worshipping God and spending time with loved ones. The lesson is about Jehoshaphat and the Israelites facing attack, and God told them, “'Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God's….You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem.' Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed. Tomorrow go out against them, and the LORD will be with you.” So they went out and sang praises to God, and He fought the battle without them lifting a finger, He destroyed their enemies. I am praying for you and your family, and praising God as I trust Him to fight this battle for you. Thanks for sharing your experience on this blog. You are an excellent writer.


  3. Thank you for taking the time to share your journey. I'm ridiculously inarticulate and I'll probably never be the friend that gives you the “right words at the right time” but know your constantly in my thoughts!
    Thoughts, prayers and lots of love… always, Jody!


  4. Dear Erin,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and prayers. I KNOW Jesus is lifting you and Yaacov up and He will gird you for this journey. There are so very many people praying for you all from all across the continent. God IS good, so we know He will use this to glorify Himself. Please know, whatever I can do to help, I am here for you all. Love you very much!


  5. Erin…I am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way – everyday. Wish I lived closer so I could just give you a hug. Please know that you do have friends across the miles that love you. Continue to be the strong person you are.
    Lots of love…Kelly


  6. Thank you for sharing this. God has also taught me to focus on what's important and that has been a blessing in my life as well. I can relate to people pushing themselves on you and wanting to help out:). It's interesting to see how people respond to and feel the need to “help.” We are praying for you constantly as we are told in 1 Thessalonians. To God be the glory for everything in our lives, both good and bad (by human standards). We love you much. Allison


  7. Hi Erin, (Sorry if this is a repeat…I just joined google and am not sure if I am properly posting to you…) I want you to know we are thinking of you. You are so incredible. It is amazing that you are able to be so reflective and to find joy and humor in the midst of the unknown. I began reading your journal and had tears in my eyes but then you me made me laugh with visions of sweet Abba talking on the phone with you and looking for kitchen cleaning scriptures…I joined your blog hoping to offer you comfort, but it is YOU that has brought me a renewed sense of faith and hope. I wish for you to continue to be able to have light and laughter in every day and I thank you for sharing your perspective, courage and beauty with us. What a remarkable woman and mother you are. You touched me with the reality of having to stop breastfeeding suddenly, but you are so amazing that you were able to do so for each for as long as you were able to…and there are so many other reasons that your girls are so fortunate to have you as there mom. You have given each of them the best gift ever of a sister. If there is anything we can do to help you in your journey, please do say so! Warmest Wishes, Michelle
    PS: Would love to know more about your book and where to get it! What a great accomplishment!


  8. Hi loved ones,
    I guess I can't quite respond to the individual comments on here but wanted to tell you that all these make me feel really good. All the scriptures are so applicable, and one of the things I've been struggling with is how to focus on finding those (as in, do I do a topical study, search by verse I vaguely remember, etc.). So I really appreciate those.

    I love you all and feel your love as well. And to Debra, my dear MIL, I don't know if you heard but someone who gets a prayer list you put us on posted it on Facebook, and my good friend here in Tallahassee read and recognized it! I think it ended up being her aunt who goes to church with or near you. But anyway, it's so cool to see how God intertwines all these things. He is among us, just like He promised in Mth 18:20

    Many thanks to all for your support!


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