God is still good. Last night I felt sick and started panicking that I wouldn’t be able to start chemo on time because of it. I went to bed at 7:30 and feel fine now. I’m so grateful for the healing and for the lifestyle that I can do that and it’s not even a blip on the radar. The kids were in bed, Yaacov was home with video games to entertain him, etc. I can’t imagine going through this with a job outside the house or as a single mom.
One reason I went “public” on Facebook yesterday was because I was already sort of depressed and wanted to get it out of the way. I was skeptical that those who aren’t close enough to me to know already would really care. But the outpouring of love and messages from old friends and even strangers has been really encouraging.
I had a sort of daydream (I can’t say it was a vision from God, but it was definitely filled with love that only He is responsible for). I was in the front yard with Abigail, having a “dance party”. We have them all the time where we blast the music and mostly spin around and laugh. Anyway, it was the two of us holding hands and spinning, the wind was in our hair and she was smiling with those huge cheeks. Then suddenly I looked over, and the whole yard was filled with people who love us. We were all dancing together with joy because of God’s great love. We’re going to have that dance party when He heals me.
Abi just caught me crying as I finished up this post. She said, “Why are you crying?” I told her it’s because God is so good. She wisely responded, “Well, whenever you want to cry about something you should just sing, ‘God is so good’ instead”. I think I’ll try that today.