Today was a really good day. Maybe the best yet. It was just normal. Focused on the girls and not on stupid cancer. Talked about normal things and all that jazz.
I am supposed to start chemo Monday so need a tube placed in my collarbone tomorrow. Turns out it’s a bigger deal than we thought, with general anesthesia, a 6-8 hour hospital visit, etc. My awesome surgeon, Dr. Crooms fit me into his busy schedule, but the nurse told me if I have a fever the anesthesiologist might insist on rescheduling. And don’t you know, my temp keeps going up. Yesterday the oncologist at Mayo was slightly concered about 99.3, and now it’s crept up to 99.7. I’ve decided 100.4 will be the real issue but didn’t think to ask for the magic number earlier. So now we need to pray that I can have the surgery if it’s God’s will.
The stupid fever and a cough have been with me sporadically since September, and only go away while on antibiotics. the oncologist yesterday said it’s not related to the cancer, which is AWESOME. Obviously it’s still an issue but I’m pretty sure cancer is a bigger deal. I have a lot of peace about it right now, because if it falls through it must be God’s will to heal me in another way. We’ll see how long that peace lasts if I’m told it’s a no-go though.
I want to clarify a few awesome things about God before I sign off. First, the awesome part about the way He gave me hope yesterday is that He did it when I was being a piece of junk. I’ve been vaguely angelic at other points, so maybe on some level I would have thought I “earned” the blessing. But He waited until I was being self-centered and actually disobedient (by not focusing on Him), then He cheered me up like no other time in this process. I absolutely believe He waited for that moment to remind me that He is the one really in control. Clearly I am “prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love”.
The other great news is that I’ve been praying about James 5:14, which says, “Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well.” My mom happened to give some frankinscense oil and I’ve been planning to ask one of the elders if it was cool to bring it and they’d anoint me with it and pray. Before I got around to asking though, Pastor Erik contacted Yaacov and asked if they could do that. Just shows God’s on the move and He really put that on multiple people’s hearts at the same time. Awesomely Amazing!!!!!
Hopefully the next time I blog I will have a hole and tube in my neck. Funny how a few weeks ago that wouldn’t have been on my prayer list.