My News

While I have not heard from the doctors about the PET scan yet, I much more importantly believe I have been healed by God. So it doesn’t matter what they say Thursday.

It all started with my new favorite verses from the Bible. Mark 11:22-24 says these extremely important words, ” ‘Have faith in God’ Jesus answered. ‘Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

I meditated on these verses, discussed what else it could possibly mean with Yaacov, and prayed a lot about it. Then I went outside, rebuked the devil in Jesus’ name, and prayed for help keeping him out. In this prayer I specifically asked for healing along with freedom from this spirit that has been making me misplace items all the time. Afterward I felt the same but because the word says, “BELIEVE you have RECEIVED it”, I believed. I told Yaacov I was healed and only then was I filled with the holy spirit. It felt awesome and reassuring.

That should be enough (Dayenu!), but it gets better. I decided that someone who is healed does not check on her lump so I’m not feeling it anymore, nor am I saying, “I have cancer” because I don’t. If it continues to show up on the tests I will say, “I was diagnosed with cancer.”

Anyway, throughout the day I was frustrated to misplace a few more things. So I finally prayed that God would show me missing items to demonstrate that my prayers had been answered. As I finished praying I lifted up the deflated air mattress that has been sitting in our junk room for two weeks. No one has touched it during that time. Underneath the mattress was my missing hat. Mind you, I was given that hat last Wednesday (1/25) and hadn’t seen it since I wore it (1/26). I rarely go into that room and had not on the day I wore it. But there it was. Under something that hadn’t been moved since January 16. Get it? “BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED IT AND IT WILL BE YOURS.” That’s it. It is done.


Diet and Random Answers

I already posted today with content stuff, but a lot of people have been asking about random details of what I’m going through. So this should answer it. Please don’t worry about bombarding me with questions either, I’m happy to share any details.

My Diet:
I’m followig the anti-cancer diet to the best of my ability. It is difficult for me as it’s very time-consuming and I already don’t have much time. Yaacov is also following it, and the girls are getting closer. When I mentioned this diet before I forgot to say that the limited science behind it also is primarily just to help stop or slow the spread of cancer. It is to be used along with medication and not in the place of it. Please don’t follow this diet without evaluating it yourself. It was written 5 years ago and things change quickly.

The basics are–
No or very limited sugar and white flour (that includes no honey, cane or corn syrup, etc.)
Primarily eat veggies/fruit (organic best)
Whole grains good, multi-grains better, sourdough is okay but not helpful
Fish is good, I just don’t like it
Animals and animal fats are limited and grassfed organic
I take 16 pills per day (vitamins, supplements, etc.)
Drinking tons of green tea, pomegranate juice, probiotic, some grape juice
Eat lots of berries
Add flax
Add tumeric
Drink red wine but not during chemo (no problem, I hate the taste)
Use olive oil
Add garlic
Exercise 30 min 6 days per week
Limit stress
Go to support groups

My hair stopped falling out after getting some bald spots. They were in front so I could not have rocked the “I just have thin hair” look. I still have my eyebrows, arm hair and eyelashes!
My mouth sores have been mostly gone, although I have some today. I think getting extra sleep will help because I’ve been deprived lately. I had all 4 very harsh chemo treatments, and in 2 weeks (so 3 total weeks of vacation from chemo) I start an easier treatment. I’ll get it each week for about 12 weeks. My hair could start growing back anytime between now and the 8th treatment. I often think it’s already growing, but I got a good look at it today and realize that isn’t the case.

Behavior analysts will appreciate the respondent conditioning that goes on during chemo. For me I noticed that the one time I went to the office and did NOT receive any treatment, my port started hurting while I was sitting in the nurse’s room. It hurt for 2 days even though no needle  touched it. I also cannot stand the smell of coffee because it’s the first thing I drank after my initial chemo treatment. My responses have not been too bad, but some people fare much worse during this type of chemo. The nurse told me that one woman begins throwing up as soon as she sees the syringe filled with that disgusting stuff.

That’s about it, but if there are any questions I didn’t answer let me know.


I know a lot of you have been waiting for an update and I really appreciate the prayers and concern. It turns out we won’t find out what the PET scan showed until Thursday. I thought waiting that long might kill me, but it’s not so bad. The truth is that in the grand scheme of life, God’s plan, and PET scans, it doesn’t matter. God could choose to use that as a demonstration of His power and love, or He could use it to show that we need to cling to Him harder, pray more. Love more. Because above all else, God is love. He has been forever, and will be for always.

I think I forgot about love lately. I’ve been increasing my efforts to be really present with the kids and Yaacov, so there have been times that God hit me over the head with it. Like the other day when Naomi was napping. I normally try to rest at that time so Abi takes quiet time but instead we sat outside on a blanket, enjoying the beautiful day God created, and talked about important 4-year-old girl issues. It was so much more meaningful and memorable than anything else I could have done. 1 John 4:8, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” God made that day. That child. Gave me the time to enjoy it. Yes, God is love.


I was in a Bible study this morning and the speaker mentioned 2 Thessalonians 3-4, “We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing. Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.” She posed the questions, “How has your faith grown lately? What evidence is there that your faith has changed?” My iniitial thought was that my faith has grown a ton and the evidence is all the people who’ve been moved by this situation.
Then God reminded me that none of that is true. I am depending on Him because I HAVE to. I don’t have the luxury of choosing to trust Him or the doctors, because the doctors are telling me they have nothing worth trusting. I mean, I want to trust Him anyway, but I can’t say I definitely would if the situation was different. And the truth of all this ticks me off. Even though I’m physically doing well, I still feel like I’m going through hell. I’m furious at myself that I still can’t get it together. Still haven’t learned what I need to. Still am not the Christian I should be. Not the woman I should be. Not the mother I should be. Or the wife. The chef. Even the housekeeper.

If this journey doesn’t get me where I need, what will it take?  I will keep trying no matter what. 2 Thess 3:13, “And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.”

On another note, I’m really excited for tomorrow’s PET scan. No matter the results, it’s in God’s hands and I trust Him fully. But I still can’t wait to see what happens. Thankfully His awesomeness does NOT depend on my awesomeness, and it never will.


“My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do.
My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do.
The mountains are his, the rivers are his, the stars are His handiwork, too.
My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do, for you!”

I’ve been a little sick lately so haven’t blogged as much as I would have liked. It seems like a lot has been going on so here is the good, the bad, and the ugly…

Last week Yaacov’s car broke down and we learned it had been sparking. The workers said it was amazing that it hadn’t caught on fire. They say “amazing”, I say, “miracle”.

“My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do”

A few days after that, Yaacov’s brother’s house burned down. Yes, for real. Their precious dog Nana woke them up so they were able to get out of the house with the three girls without harm. Unfortunately, Nana and their two cats did not survive. However, we praise God that He sent Nana to save them. Details about the fire, etc. are here:

“My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do”

Some of you have heard about the Anti-Cancer diet Yaacov and I are on and I wanted to explain a little more. I spent a long while praying and reading about different options for healthy lifestyles to fight this battle. I finally found peace, joy, and relief when reading Anti-cancer (sent to me by Lindsey Parsons, thank-you!), so that’s what I went with. I was waiting to start it until after the Texas trip in case they had different recommendations, or some sort of fancy tests where I’d want to be measured at baseline. They had nothing to recommend besides a casket size there, so we just started the diet upon our return. But I don’t want people to think we started a diet as our solution to doctor’s inability to help me. Anyway, I like the diet because there are data behind aspects of it. Not a lot, but enough that it won’t hurt anything to try as long as it doesn’t interfere with my pursuit of God and His will.

“The mountains are his, the rivers are his, the stars are His handiwork, too.”

I have mentioned a few times that a positive attitude is really important for fighting diseases. There are a lot of data out there, but one illustration is from a study in which people with the very same ailments but different reports of them were tracked over time. Those who said they were in excellent health lived much longer, healthier lives than those with the same ailments who said they were in poor health. Those with critical minds will remind me that these data are just correlated, not causal. But so what? There is still a reason these people do better, so I’m going to do what I can to make sure I always feel like I’m in excellent health. Before the diet I decided I would select “good” health on a questionnaire. Since reading that I have tried to exercise every day, get rest if I do feel crummy, and follow my diet. I felt excellent for a few days, but chemo did bring me down a bit. I think when I shake this cold I’ll be back up there.

My God is so great, so strong and so mighty, there’s nothing my God cannot do, for you!”

God has been working in so many ways it’s hard to describe. I have lost a bit of my oomph and excitement about the upcoming PET scan but that’s just satan bringing me down. I know God has tons of miracles and surprises up His sleeve and I can’t wait to see them all come together. I also can’t wait to hear about what He’s been doing in everyone else’s lives. One of my favorite things these days is to get your emails or notes about that sort of thing.

I have been praying a lot for everyone who reads this and feel it’s important we all remember there’s no prayer to big or too small for God. If you have faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains in His name! If you have a stupid stubbed toe that’s driving you crazy, He will relieve that too! Don’t insult our creator by keeping Him locked up until you finally find something you can’t do on your own. This is His world, we are His people. Believe what He says, today and always. Let Him comfort you today. Let Him wipe your tears and blow the ashes off your lovely face. Accept the crown of beauty He has for you. You deserve it, not because of who you are or what you’ve done, but because you are His child. Now, and forevermore.

Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.


Chemo treatment #4. The best I expected was to go in quickly, hear my lump is very small and get a quick dose of the “red devil juice” (they call it that, I don’t). I was already excited because after this I have just 12 weeks of a gentler drug.

God had better plans for me today. I asked Dr. Rassam about his recommendation for my surgery and out of nowhere he mentioned that it might turn out that I actually have stage 3 instead of stage 4 cancer! That is literally the difference between a death sentence and a curable illness! We scheduled a PET scan for Thursday (1/26), and I will get the results within a week after that. I’m so excited, so excited, so excited.

I know some of you will think it’s a bad idea for me to be excited about this, because I should actually expect the worst. However, I don’t think that’s biblical. How can I have all this hope and joy but stifle it in case I get disappointed? First of all, I would be doing that just to protect myself. I don’t need protecting, that’s God’s job! Ps 127:7 says, “The Lord will keep you from all harm–He will watch over your life.” I also don’t want to  think it will be bad because that’s a lack of faith. I believe God will heal me. I don’t know that this is the start of it, but it very well could be. There are many cases in which this happens. Instead of sudden healing, it’s gradual, with restaging to lower and lower stages until it’s gone,. Then the doctors say it was due to misdiagnoses. In my case, three oncologists reviewed the case and told me unequivically, “there is a 0% chance you will be cured of cancer”. We’ll know the truth–that God healed me.

Anyway, it hasn’t happened yet, but I’m hoping and praying that it will. This is THE time I need everyone we can to pray. I know it’s selfish but I also know a ton of people have offered and are praying already, so this is really specific. At this point, it’s the most important, time-sensitive prayer I’ve ever had. This could be the beginning of my healing! Please, please pray and ask those people you have praying for us that: the results of the next PET scan will accurately demonstrate that there is no cancer beyond my breasts. My lungs, spine, and all other bones and organs are entirely cancer free. I’m so very hopeful that God will choose now to answer this prayer. Please remember that this is the time to BELIEVE God will answer. James 1:6 “But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” That belief is called faith, and James 5:15 says, “ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven.”

Many thanks for the prayers and support, I love you all!


Abi turned four today! I am thrilled to have known and raised the most amazing little girl this whole time. It is a complete honor and I can’t wait to see how the next four pan out.

I was praying this morning about precious Abigail and what a blessing she has been, and got to thinking about how we all should have faith like little children. Matthew 18:3 says, “Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”. Abi sets an amazing example of faith–no bad things have gotten in the way of her belief or tainted her pure, unadulterated passions. She doesn’t understand everything about God or Jesus, but she does believe the truth about what they’ve done for us. She doesn’t know the extent of my illness, but she believes Jesus will heal me.

So if I am to be like a child in my faith, I will take the living word of God and believe what it says. There are many examples in the Bible of Jesus healing people. In fact, it happens nonstop in the new testament, not just one in a million times. I am aware that Jesus didn’t heal everyone, but using that as an excuse for unbelief contradicts behaving like a child. The Bible doesn’t refer to all the sick people off somewhere who Jesus ignored, people just grow up and realize there must have been some, then put God in a box accordingly. I don’t think that’s the point of having faith like a little child. The point is you don’t need to overanalyze everything, or let common sense (which is actually learned by life experience) get in the way. To be like a child you just do it now and ask questions later.

Matthew 21:22 says, “If you believe, you will receive anything you ask for in prayer.” 1 John 5:14 adds, “now this is the confidence we have in him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He will answer us.” In John 14:13-14 Jesus said “And I will do whatever you ask in my name so that the father will be glorified in the son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

So, I’m tossing out about 28 years of jaded, biased, negative thinking and getting back to the faith I might have had when I was 4. I will keep praying, and most importantly, believing, that I will be healed. Cured, actually. Not by doctors, not by diet, but by God Almighty. By the sovereign God whose wrath I deserve but will not face. “Be exalted, O Lord. We will sing and praise your power.” (Ps 21:13)