I had a PET scan on Thursday. Dr. Crooms sent me because it’s been a year since my last one. The one last year was the first PET scan I had ever had with no cancer at all. I haven’t gotten the results yet but know they will be clear. This will mark one year without any evidence of disease. During the test I had no nerves. I felt like an old pro, I wait for the results without a hint of fear. This confidence comes from God (2 Cor 3:4) and is one of the hugest internal improvements I’ve had since the start of this journey with cancer.
Abigail has the confidence from the Lord, too. I was reminded of it this weekend at her dance recital. I can look back on the day I was healed as the best news I’ve ever received, but as for best experiences ever, it pales in comparison to watching Abi do ballet. Her first recital was this time last year and I felt the same both times. Watching her dance with the grace of a five-year-old brings up every emotion I have felt since I had her. Her sweet smile brings me peace and joy. As she gallops across the stage I remember the ups and downs of bringing a child into the world to love, trying to carry her through the difficult times, and seeing her land seamlessly on her feet after all she’s endured. All my prayers about her not having to lose her mom were answered and nothing hints that she’s had to become wise beyond her years. Instead she exudes love. She shines like the brightest star, not like someone with doubts, who looks over her shoulder for danger, someone who fears taking a deep breath. She poses with the grace of a young lady who is entirely secure and for that I am extremely grateful and motivated. There is nothing more perfect than watching her dance and I know the Lord enjoys seeing His child perform, too. I know that we who struggle with adversity are hurt but not destroyed (2 Cor 4:9), and we should all strive to dance for Him as though we too were happy five-year-olds.
2 Samuel 6:14, “Wearing a linen ephod, David was dancing before the Lord.”
God has been so amazing to us…always! He answers prayers, looks out for our best interests, and changes our hearts to line up with those interests. How great and majestic is He? How He loves us better than our earthly fathers! How He aches with us, yearns for us, sees through us. He is the Almighty God, creator of heaven and earth and all good things. He is to be feared not because of what He can do to us but because of His awesomeness! Everyone gets a chance to draw close to Him. Your chance is now.