Heart of My Heart

The Lord is teaching me about my heart and Holy Spirit. The lesson is so deep, yet perfectly simple, and it touches me to the core. I’ve said many times that part of me has felt dead inside since my diagnosis. It’s not a depression, just something I wrestle with, and sometimes it’s helpful. In fact, Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life”, and whatever I unconsciously do to keep from really feeling things can protect my heart. But, He has shown me how special it is to deeply care for people, which can’t be done when we are too guarded. And when we’re talking about letting our guards down to share God’s love with them, we’re really opening our hearts to Him. He is the only One it’s totally safe to trust. He said, “My son, give me your heart and let your eyes keep my ways.” Proverbs 23:26

There is so much pain in the world; brokenness underlies every sin, it’s hidden behind welcoming smiles, exudes from those lying at the foot of the cross and also from the worshipping at the feet of idols. We have to harden our hearts sometimes just to make it through our own day, let alone to stay standing in the midst of so much sorrow. It’s easier to put our heads down and keep trucking…the phrase “herd immunity” takes on another meaning to me upon this reflection.

I want to enjoy the life He has blessed me with, and to reserve the pain and misery for the sad parts of daily life. But, that’s not His plan. And His plan is better. His plan includes opening our hearts for more risk, more pain, but more reward. He has aligned my heart with the hearts of others, and my spirit mourns and delights along with them. 

It’s clear that He puts certain people and situations in our paths to pray for and meditate on more than others. I am so fortunate that He put my story on many of your hearts, and that you were obedient to pray for us. I’ve heard so many stories of how special it was to you all when I was healed, because it made it such a special answer to your own prayer to hear the news Dr. Rassam shared, “It’s gone, your cancer is all gone! I have never seen anything like it!”. 

When I prayed for Debora’s healing, my spirit deeply interceded for her. It was hard and exhausting and terrifying. But when we received the confirmation of her healing it was the most special news I could imagine. In many ways I was more moved than with my own healing. The joy of the Lord was so powerful I couldn’t sleep or even carry on a conversation about anything else. It is an incomparable memory of the Lord and me that I thoroughly cherish. Even in my guarded heart I would daresay that experience alone is worth being brokenhearted the rest of my days. I long for others to experience that, not to try to strongarm the Lord into doing more miracles, but to give all the chance to witness that side of Him. His love and power are incomprehensible, but more obvious when our hearts are open and watching for these things. 

“And these signs will accompany those who believe…they will lay their hands on the sic, and they will recover.” Mark 16: 17;18

We all have many opportunities to pray and care for others every day. I don’t know how or why He opens our hearts toward certain people and not others. I do know that He is the God of our hearts and opens and hardens them as He sees fit. So, I want to make sure to include some of the problems people contact me about on here, in case He opens your heart to pray for them. If you haven’t had the blessing of interceding deeply for someone who sort of “shares” your heart, dare to ask for such an opportunity. Dare to care. 

Some of these people already share my own heart. I imagine I know the depth of their despair, but all I actually know is Ps 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”.

Lyn received PET scan results, thanks to all for praying! Sadly, the scan showed no improvement with the medication she’s been taking, and a slight increase in the spread stage 4 breast cancer. This is totally devastating and confusing, they don’t know what treatment to do next, or what doctor’s recommendations to follow. Let’s pray that He shows Himself to be Lyn’s Great Physician and reminds the whole family of His sovereignty. Pray boldly that He fully heals Lyn, so His great name will be exalted throughout the land, and that many come to faith because of it.
A friend is having a PET scan today. We are believing in and expecting a perfect report of no cancer at all. Pray for peace, love, joy, and truth to reign!!!
Julie, Karen, Mila and Kelly are all fighting breast cancer. Daniel has malignant mesothelioma and his sons are 1 and 3 years old. Amanda and Meredith are young and are bravely battling different cancers. Pray the Lord will be close to them and that they grow in their faith and assurance of who He is. Pray for their hearts, souls, and bodies!

Alison needs total and permanent physical relief from the severe facial pain she’s been facing, it’s torturous. My friends Betsy and Natalie have been struggling with lyme disease and all it’s effects.  
Cheri needs prayer to be overcome by God’s goodness, that He nourishes the parched land with His living water, and that her soul finds rest and peace in His arms.

I’m sorry for the lack of details with all of these, but God knows everything about each of these people. He knows His plans to bless them all with abundant, everlasting life, and to lead them beside still streams. Every one of them faces agony in different ways, and has done so for many days. I pray they would persevere and never lose hope. That the glory of God will fill their lives and that they would reflect it back to our Savior.

Matthew 4:23, “And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people.”

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