I’ve been healed for so long now that cancer is no longer a conscious part of each day. I remember before I was healed, recognizing how many people can’t get “past” it. I saw how it really is impossible to not fear future recurrences, an underlying condition that might cause an ache or pain, or to blame all your problems on the trauma they went through with it. And that was just for people without a terminal diagnosis. For those of us with incurable cancer, just the physical healing is an intangible pipe dream, so we are more willing to leverage the standard of perfect future health with just not dying from the cancer. But there is one who has a long history of delivering His people. He breaks the ties we have to fear, physical and emotional diseases, and to all sin.
I have been cancer free for more than three years now. No one had any expectation of that except God and some of His faithful followers. There was no reason to hope for such a thing, other than for the hope we have in our Savior, who died for my own sins, and is able to do more than we could ever imagine (Eph 3:20). He did it. To Him be the glory! No matter how great doctors, medicine, and people are, their value could never compare to the One who “gives more grace” (James 4:6).
I saw Dr. Rassam on Monday, and he gave me the great news that he wants to take me off Xgeva, a bone density shot that I have received for the past 36 months. The drug doesn’t have longterm studies for people like me because…people like me aren’t supposed to be cancer-free. So, every month I’ve spent 1-2 hours, kids in tow, getting bloodwork taken, waiting on results, then getting the shot. He always told me I’d be on it forever, and it didn’t occur to me until this week to pray to get off it. Within minutes of that prayer I found myself in his office, and he told me he wants to confirm with a bone scan (not until September), and then I’ll go off that drug!
When we were praying for the first clear PET scans, I prayed specifically to be told one day that I have “no evidence of disease”. I got the clear scan, which was better, but those weren’t words I heard. For three years there have been no setbacks, no substantial hints of a problem. I forgot that prayer, because of the truth that there was no evidence. But on Monday as I was leaving, Dr. Rassam had a talk with the chemo nurse about stopping the Xgeva. That’s when I heard those words I longed for–“She has no evidence of disease…there has been no evidence for several years…”. Nothing could compare to the first time he told me I was healed, but it was an unexpected treasure to hear those words, and to remember the urgency with which I prayed it three years ago. His timing is perfect, His memory awesome. I was extraordinarily blessed by not having to wait the three years to be healed–I’ve been healthy for longer than I ever could deserve. But it’s still a great reminder that He hears our prayers and He does answer. His timing is always better than ours. His word is true, the promises real, His love is thorough.