Dayenu!

I was reading through my blog and my heart just about stopped when I got to one of the most precious moments in there–“Dayenu”! My heart has this achy, drowsy, lovey-dovey feeling when I read the words He gave me back then.

I wrote it back on January 4, 2012, I was going through chemo, with no real idea if the Lord would have mercy on my family and me to heal me. Even with the chemo, would I live to see another Christmas? We didn’t know, but we still saw the Lord in every moment. I won’t sugar-coat it, every moment was hard, and I don’t know if a day passed without my crying. Yet, one thing remained–the one thing that mattered, and His peace transcended all understanding, just like He promised it would.

So basically, there is a tradition where the jews recall the great victories the Lord had throughout the Exodus from Egypt, and shout, “Dayenu!”, which means, “We would have been satisfied”. I made a personalized version of this to celebrate what He had done until that point in my life. It was really special, and I remember there was a lot of feedback from readers about it. There is something so touching about recalling what He does and who He is.

Now that more than 5 years have passed since the original post, the list would be just too long to include all the major things He has done. He really is THAT good. Our blessings truly are innumerable. I don’t think I could list everything He’s done this week before my fingers would exhaust themselves from the typing. But, I have added to it to cover a few of the major things.

To quote John (21:25), “there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.”

“If He had merely saved my soul but left me without a partner, DAYENU”
“If He had introduced me to Yaacov but left me without children, DAYENU”
“If He had blessed me with Abigail for even a day, but hadn’t given me 4 9 years with her, DAYENU”
“If He had given me Naomi but gave me less than 9 months 6 years with her, DAYENU”
“If He had put friends and family in my life but not allowed us to grow together from an advanced cancer diagnosis, DAYENU”
“If He had moved my Dr. Perry to order an ultrasound for my lump, but it was left with a false negative and thus shorter life, DAYENU”
“If He had Dr. Perry refer me for a surgical consultation, but didn’t have Neenad tell me it should be with Dr. Crooms, DAYENU”
“If He had introduced me to Dr. Crooms but didn’t get him to secure a proper diagnosis so quickly, DAYENU”
“If He had merely allowed satan to threaten my life but chose not to give me the warnings, DAYENU”
“If He had given me the warnings via proper diagnoses, but didn’t get me to Dr. Rassam, DAYENU”
“If He had convinced us to go to the hospital in Texas but did not secure insurance approval, DAYENU”
“If He had secured insurance approval but not a fundraiser to help with other expenses, DAYENU”
“If He had moved people to raise funds for us but it was no incredibly successful, DAYENU”                                                                                                                                              “If He had helped me cover my head but not to overcome the shame from losing my hair, DAYENU”
“If He had allowed me to go through chemo but hadn’t made my tumor shrink 2 cm, DAYENU”
“If He had just comforted me through three  four rounds of the worst type of chemo but didn’t make me feel better than ever, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN SATISFIED! Dayenu!”
“If He had just carried me through the visit to MD Anderson in Texas but not allowed it to break and humiliate me, Dayenu!”                                                                                                 “If He had rescued me from the pit of despair but not led me to believe He would answer my prayers for healing, Dayenu!”                                                                                                      “If He had led me to believe I’d be healed but didn’t heal me on earth, Dayenu!”                   “If He had MIRACULOUSLY healed me on earth of “incurable”, stage 4 cancer, but left me with horrendous side effects from treatments, Dayenu!”                                                             “If He had healed me from everything, but not let me share the story, WE WOULD HAVE BEEN SATISFIED!”

He has let me share the story and continue to grow in faith, love, hope, and overall health. I can not imagine looking back now and not having every moment of this life exactly as it has been. His way is perfect, His path is right. It is hard, but not too hard for the daughter of the king.