I’ve been thinking about blogging all day because of the new direction our family’s life is taking. We have Teddy with us for a visit, and then hopefully we’ll get to keep him for good after next week. Bringing “someone else’s” toddler into your home is pretty weird–getting to know and parent him at the same time is different than I thought. But already we’ve started understanding what he wants and needs, and I think the bond we have with him is actually better than I would expect after this amount of time.
When I went to the computer to blog about Teddy, I was confronted with one thing that has been causing me sorrow lately–cancer. I’m healthy and all that, but this is Breast Cancer Awareness month, so there are a lot of reminders of what we went through 7 years ago. What we are still going through, in many ways.
Watching Teddy crawl around reminds me of watching Naomi crawl. I had a terminal diagnosis back then. It was so hard to enjoy any moment, knowing it was one of my last. The more precious she was, the more deeply I hurt for her.
Obviously my story turned out great, but it brought me close to so many whose lives were later taken by cancer. Most recently, my friend Debora passed away. She was the only other person I got to walk through a healing with. The night she was healed, several years ago, was one of the best of my life. I experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit in really unique ways. I know she really was healed. But then the cancer came back. And now she’s in heaven.
There are no more tears in heaven, so maybe it’s my story that is the real tragedy. But I have exceedingly great joy that the Lord gave me all these healthy “bonus” days to help Abi and Naomi grow up, and to see how much the Lord has done to further sanctify Yaacov through this time. And now to get to pour into little Teddy’s life, the perfect reminder that I am abundantly blessed.
To recount my healing story, click here for a video made when I was the honoree at Cards for a Cure in Tallahassee.
The Lord looks down from heaven; he sees all the children of man; from where he sits enthroned he looks out on all the inhabitants of the earth, he who fashions the hearts of them all and observes all their deeds. The king is not saved by his great army; a warrior is not delivered by his great strength. The war horse is a false hope for salvation, and by its great might it cannot rescue. Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him, on those who hope in his steadfast love, that he may deliver their soul from death and keep them alive in famine.