Some people can just usher unknown humans into their lives seamlessly.
The Petschers are NOT those people.
We didn’t adopt Teddy because we wanted more kids. We adopted him because the Lord called us to. He first adopted us into His eternal family, and then He invited us to care for widows and orphans. For the other image-bearers He put in our path.
The calling is clear, but the mission is not easy. We see Teddy as a real blessing, but it’s hard to raise this virtually nonverbal toddler, whose first two years differ vastly from what we know or understand. He’s been in our family for almost a year now, and some days are no easier than they were at the start.
The worst part of it is actually me. I had no idea there was still so much sin in my heart. After more than 15 years of seeking the Lord and His ways faithfully, I don’t seem to be any “better”. I’m impatient, angry, selfish and hypocritical. And that’s just today. It’s so discouraging.
One day, working through all this sin will be good. One day I will be perfected in Him, and can live forever like that. But in the meantime, I’m encouraged by the words of Oswald Chambers about our roles as missionaries. It reminds me that it’s not about me, or what I do for Him.
Chambers said, “The spirit that comes in is not that of doing anything for Jesus, but of being a perfect delight to Him. The secret of the missionary is–I am His, and He is carrying out His enterprises through me.”
It’s okay that I’m a sinner, I am His! I will probably never make it through a day without sinning, but He will still use me for His glory. He is using me to raise Teddy and the girls, to be a wife to Yaacov, and in all the other roles He has for me.
If you’re feeling discouraged like me, take heart that you aren’t alone. You are His, and that is more than enough.