I guess I never got around to reporting my most recent PET scan results–ALL CLEAR, hooray! At this point it’s not exactly a surprise because I already knew I was healed. But it is great, great confirmation! I am still praying about having radiation and taking the Tamoxifen. These are expected by my healthcare providers but I have a hard time doing it while knowing … Continue reading PET Results and Whatnot
I just got a call back from Dr. Rassam’s office. He said to tell me that my loss of smell is likely from the Taxol and won’t necessarily ever come back. Oh, and that, “we’ll continue to watch it”. What is there to watch? It is gone. Gone. Not desensitized, etc. With a few exceptions I haven’t smelled anything at all for days. During the … Continue reading NEVER Smelling Again?
I had my fifth Taxol treatment last week. It wasn’t bad but I’ve officially lost my sense of smell. I barely have any taste left but can tell if something is salty and one more sensation I can’t exactly label. Close to bitter but not exactly. The smell thing is really weird and I don’t know when it left because I’ve been sick and assumed … Continue reading Chemo…blah blah…God…blah blah…
I had chemo #7 (third Taxol treatment) Thursday, and have the next one this week. That marked the halfway mark for the 20 total weeks of chemo. I’m doing better with the fears and other issues, because for the most part I avoid thinking about them. God helps when I do. I’m not going to talk much about them because that makes me think, and … Continue reading Weakness & Chemo #7
I had my second Taxol treatment yesterday and it went better than the first. I didn’t get sick or fall asleep. I was so prepared to pass out that I barely brought anything to do, so it was really boring. Fortunately, there were big things on my mind so there was plenty to pray about. After posting about love the other day, it became abundantly … Continue reading Becoming Fluent in God…and Chemo #6
I’m a little late on this one. Had my first Taxol treatment yesterday. There were a lot of upsides–Rassam felt my lump again and reported, “there’s nothing there”. I think he meant “virtually nothing” though. There’s still fibrous tissue there that needs to be removed, regardless of the number of cancer cells that might have been hiding in there (I believe 0). More good news was … Continue reading Chemo Treatment #5 (Taxol 1/12)
Abigail has become afraid that I’m going to leave and never come back. I have no idea where that idea came from, but it could not be timed worse. I guess none of us should ever promise that won’t happen, because we can’t control everything. James 4:13-16 says, “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend … Continue reading Chemo Treatment #2
I’ve tried really hard not to focus on the vain aspects that go with cancer and chemo, but the time has come and I’m consumed by them. I pray for total, supernatural healing, but let’s face it, if God wants to sustain me for many years on chemo, that would still be an enormous blessing. Unfortunately, that would mean spending the rest of my life … Continue reading How do tears fall without eyelashes?
Today’s the day! This is it. No turning back, but I wouldn’t want to anyway. I feel SO much better about everything today. I somehow lost my focus over the weekend and got caught up in worldly things that don’t matter. By yesterday morning I felt dead inside. I woke up telling God that I’m just a kid, and this was too much of a … Continue reading CHEMO!
I’m freaking out about chemo and everything right now. I had a great weekend (I don’t think I mentioned yesterday that we had a dance party at church! In our pajamas!), and Yaacov and I just watched a movie, which is the first entertainment I’ve had since the diagnosis. There were crummy parts to the weekend too and I’m having a hard time getting past … Continue reading One More Day Until Chemo