I remember that before I was healed a friend posted a comment on here about what a roller coaster all the cancer stuff was. I was still cautious about being so vulnerable on here so I was a little offended. I felt like she was saying I should stop getting my hopes up about about things, to just sort of live in neutral. Since then I have had seasons of wishing for this neutral myself. It is hard to be so passionate about whatever’s going on in life that when it turns out badly it’s like part of you dies a little.
A few weeks ago the Lord put it on my heart to set up a 24-hour prayer time for a few of the very sick ladies I know with cancer. I would have liked to do it with more notice but there’s a sudden, more urgent need for it so we went ahead and scheduled it to start this Wednesday (7/9). We are trying to get people to sign up to pray in 1-hour increments for 24 hours, so please consider taking a slot (or, 22 of them… :).
When you look at a day it doesn’t seem hard to pray for an hour, but I think when you sit down to do it it’s overwhelming. People who’ve done tons of this can pray for several hours, but those people are much holier than me. So, I’m going to share my “Praying for Dummies” tips. I’m not name-calling here, just thought I’d break it down so it doesn’t seem so daunting.
1. Try to get somewhere alone. Even from the dog, who seems so sweet and cuddly until you try to focus on prayer and he starts bringing you the ball. Move anything distracting away–there is no such thing as multitasking appropriately while praying. I have prayed in the car (parked in the garage), in a variety of different closets, the yard, Abi’s bed, the bathroom…I do best praying late at night or early in the morning because then I can sit at a table but still not be interrupted.
2. Prepare your prayer list, a Bible, paper, a pen, any notes/scriptures you’ve been meditating, and any good lists of scriptures you have (I have a Biblical promises one that’s good, and I try to look those up in the Bible to get a better idea of the context while praying).
3. Set your clock for a start and stop time (if it’s for something like this day of prayer–otherwise you don’t need an end time). You might be having such a great time with God that you don’t want to end it, but usually if you don’t have the end time set it’s like working out–you start watching the clock to see how much longer. Once your clock is set you can turn that part of your brain off and just wait for it to tell you you’re done.
4. Pray out loud. Doesn’t matter if you’re alone or not (although obviously alone is better). This helps you stay awake (What’s that? I’m the only one who falls asleep while praying? Riiiight…). It also helps you stay focused. Your ears hear the way you drift off to planning your day or making a shopping list, and get you back on track.
5. Write down the random, off-topic things that come to mind so you don’t deceive yourself and think you’re supposed to cut your prayer time short and do those things. Once they’re written down, forget about them until later.
6. Also write down the cool things God shows you, because sometimes when you’re done you can’t remember it all.
7. When you’re out of things to pray about, go through the little tips you know, like praying the way Jesus did, ACTS, ABCs (look these up), or just ask God to help you pray. If you’re praying for another person, ask for empathy and brokenness for her, and He will increase your passion and interest in interceding for her. Make sure to think back to all the amazing things He has done for you or others and thank Him for those.
8. Remember that prayer is communicating with God, so just talking at Him isn’t enough. Talk to Him and leave time for Him to answer. Ask Him to prepare your heart to hear from Him, ask Him to show you anything you need, and then just be still. Jot down anything that comes to mind but wait, wait, wait for more. It’s not always the first thing that comes to mind that you need to know. Sometimes it’s waiting in faith for more answers. More of His heart. More wisdom. When you find your mind wandering off, do your best to control it or just move back to talking out loud to God.
9. Don’t be ashamed to be honest with God. He knows it all anyway, and the brokenness that comes from admitting your sin and struggles helps you grow closer to Him and to be more holy.
10. Seemed like a good idea to have an even 10 points here, but I can’t think of another.
Anyway, here is some information about the 24-hour prayer-a-thon. Please consider signing up. You can pray from anywhere for an hour and it’ll bless you so much to see how He answers! Sometimes it isn’t in the way we expect or desire.
2. Enter your email address: (You will NOT need to register an account on VolunteerSpot)
3. Sign up! Choose your spots – VolunteerSpot will send you an automated confirmation and reminders.
It’s been almost 2 years since my diagnosis. This time in 2012 my dad drove from West Palm (7 hours) to watch the girls while I went for an ultrasound on the lump in my breast. I had prayed for immediate, good news and that is what I got. Too bad we learned a few weeks later that they were wrong!!!! During the ultrasound the technician proudly announced that my lump was just a clogged milk duct and cancelled the mammogram I was supposed to have right after. I thought that meant my dad had driven all the way across the state to help for no reason, and I had missed Abigail’s Halloween parade, which was at her school at the same time. Of course, when we learned that it was actually a misdiagnosis and I had cancer, those details turned out to be the least of my worries.
I will always think of that day around Halloween, and it was on my mind today as I watched my biggest baby march proudly around the school in her unicorn costume. I can say with absolute certainty that she is no worse for having gone through my cancer and treatments with me. In fact, her faith is stronger and she sees the Lord in more things than before. We prayed so much that the girls would not be destroyed because of the attacks from the Destroyer, and God definitely answered those prayers. Plus, obviously, many, many more.
By the end of today’s parade I was smacked in the face with the reality that the world didn’t stop being a horrible place just because the Lord healed me. I learned that a strong, young believer named Jaime is days from death. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer when she had an infant, and that little boy is now 4 years old. By all accounts, that little guy is about to lose his mother. The cancer is in her liver and is causing her excruciating pain.
I remember ruminating once that this is how it goes: First, everyone has high hopes, then that fades and so do the prayers and belief that a miracle could occur. Finally it gets so bad that everyone starts praying for death to take you, to put you out of your misery. I think this has happened with Jaime’s family. She has a husband and parents who love her and no one can stand seeing her in this pain. I imagine she would rather not live more days like this but feels so guilty succumbing because of her child. Her son. Her lovely, precious, and perfect son.
I don’t know the boy’s name but I know he’s wonderful. And that he doesn’t understand. And that he’s on track to have to go through all the awful issues I prayed my own children could avoid. I often think the good Lord answered my prayers for my daughter’s sake…and with some difficulty I’m going to stretch my faith for this next part: I BELIEVE HE WILL ANSWER OUR PRAYERS TO ENTIRELY HEAL JAIME . For His glory.
Many people remind me that He doesn’t heal us all, but (I will say it again, and again), who are we to decide who He will heal? If we pray halfheartedly for healing “because He only heals some of us”, do we actually follow His command to pray in faith (James 5)? And to pray AND believe (Mark 11:24)? Are we actually doing it because we afraid that if he doesn’t heal the person and we thought He would, we will lose faith in Him? Is it just an easy way out to not really put our hearts into praying for healing?
It takes some difficulty to believe Jaime will be healed, but I am doing it. I did it for Debora and when He healed her it was so much more meaningful to me than if I had been just watching from the sidelines. Or waiting for her to die. So I challenge you all to pray with me. To suspend all understanding of what you know about science and the way things usually work, and to go all out in your prayers and belief that she will be healed. Ignore Satan and His lies. Those that whisper “it’s too late” and “no one is healed at this point”. By definition a miracle is a supernatural, unexpected change that we cannot explain away. So we do not lose the hope that He gave us two years ago. Or last week. We maintain this hope and earnest expectation of the good news to come.
Come, let us glorify the Lord together. We shall rejoice together for the upcoming healing of the Lord’s daughter, Jaime. For her sake, for her son’s sake, and for yours.
Show me the wonders of your great love, you who save by your right hand those who take refuge in them from their foes.
Thanks to all for the prayers, support and encouragement. It really helps and I wanted to update everyone as much as possible…
I realize plenty of you might think I’m about to die. You might think I’m crazy because I think the matter is still open. However, I’m still alive and am not going anywhere. Nothing changed in Texas, there were actually a few positives. For one, we found a third doctor who agreed with the treatment I’m receiving. That’s apparently unheard of. For another, I have the blessing of a closed door. I don’t have to consider going back there, making the decision of switching treatments or doctors, etc.
So, the case about men finding a cure for me is closed. In less than two months I’ve gone from thinking I’m fully healthy to being told time and again that I am about to die. I don’t accept that though. I embrace that as evidence that no one on earth has the power to heal me. What I hear is actually these learned men declaring, “I have nothing for you. Don’t put your faith in me. I am worthless, go elsewhere.” They are right about that, and I’m so grateful for the discernment. I don’t need to get confused about who to trust or follow. My guy says, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”(John 8:12)
I have spent a lot of time over the past few months praying for God to tell me if He will heal me before I die or wait until after. I believe He has officially confirmed His answer–His lips are sealed. Until now I have found this issue of not knowing to be the worst part, but I’m peaceful about it now.
I have peace about this silence for a few reasons. For one, throughout history God has been silent for our own good. He didn’t tell Job that he’d suffer for a given length of time then heal him. He let him suffer, watched his response, then restored him. He told Abraham He’d be the father of nations, but didn’t tell him how that would pan out. Again, Abraham’s belief in the promise was credited to him as righteousness. Even Jesus, who was all God and all man cried out for release from his circumstances and said God forsook Him, but again the all-knowing father didn’t just tell him how it would work out. Finally, Mark 13:32 reminds us that God doesn’t tell anyone, even His son, when heaven and earth will pass away. So, I do not blame God for leaving little old me without answers.
Mark 13:32-36 clarifies that we cannot know when the end will come because the unknown will keep us alert. This is a reason I believe He is keeping me from knowing what is going on. If I knew I’d be healed soon I might lose focus on Him, and if I knew I was about to die I’d probably stop spreading His word to go inward. Plus, He has to see how I will handle all this. If I knew I’d be healed next month I would be able to handle this situation with such grace and ease. Wow, I would be amazing!
The truth is, I can’t change God’s mind. Romans 9:15 and Mal 1:2-3 says, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion”. However, time and time again Jesus told us to bring our requests to Him so that’s what I’m doing. And I do know He will heal me, it’s just that it could be on earth or it could be when I’m fully restored in heaven.
In the end, God has opted not to tell me what will happen today, tomorrow, next year, or in the next decade. That’s okay. He’s watching my response and that is something I can foresee: I will act in faith, I will pursue Him, try to please Him, and praise His name until my last day.